3 Reasons you would want to AVOID my house right now.

1. We are all quarantined with the stomach flu. AHHHHHH! It is AWFUL. Reagan and I are the only ones actually sick so far but Sami and Michael whine so much you would think they were dying of the cholera. The matching Mama/daughter puking/pooping thing is way over-rated.

2. As a result of number 1 I had to postpone a much-needed trip up to WI for a marathon sewing day with my BFF Margaret.  As a result of number 1 and number 2 I am currently in a FOUL mood. It is snark city over here. I had to remind myself to be silent if I ain’t gonna say anything nice. I also had to stay off Face Book since I tend to type snarky also….(We actually have an offical reason to be making a quick trip but that falls under “Pastorial Duties” which is a title I do not wear while in a 50 mile radius of my BFF. So Michael has an official duty, I was just tagging along)

3. My table is laden with delectable and yummy baked goods I was preparing for our little trip. You would be tempted to over indulge. Why would you want to avoid them you ask? Please see number 1.

My baking is good but not worth getting the stomach flu over.



I am angry. Very angry.

I don’t even know what I am I am most angry about…

That my best friend is having to endure something I wouldn’t wish on the meanest person in the whole wide world.

And I am not there with her

or that there is no one to be angry with

I know in my head that God can be glorified even in this darkness. That healing will happen and there is a silver lining…but I don’t see it right now and I would imagine that she doesn’t either. My heart aches for her.

I am human with all the short comings that involves, plus this isn’t even about me so I will leave this in God’s capable hands.

No details to protect her privacy but prayers are appreciated.

Documenting my decent back into my hillbilly roots….

Since if it is not actually happening to you it is hilarious I shall chronicle our (hopefully/prayerfully brief) Trailertastic journey…

And just so you don’t think I am over exaggerating and that we are moving into one of this fancy modular homes or tricked out double wides I offer you photo evidence.

Check out the vintage white and blue (aqua? teal?) coloring….

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Michael is stoked! He can’t wait to pimp it out… he bought a book.

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Here is the living room. Please not the modern wood paneling and the stylish “earth toned” carpet!

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The living room opens into the kitchen. Which is also carpeted…but not the same carpet. This time we have a cool grey carpet.

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An extra special red neck treat…one of the neighbors breeds and raises homing pigeons…. these creepy little buggars wander all over the place!

Dear H1N1

Please go away! I hate being sick and I have lots to do. I do not have time for swine flu.

Also, I don’t want to miss work and think it is probably unwise to wish your head would just go ahead and explode already since that has to be preferrable to the pain of it swelling and throbbing.

I have to sweetest friends who keep offering to bring me soup which I think is adorable and kind but alas you have ruined that for me also Pig flu as my throat burns so badly that the thought of hot soup makes me tear up. I would rather have sherbert or jello…..or cheesecake…

Back to the point, Pig flu I am evicting you from my body effective immediately. I can’t have you jerking with my christmas sewing time or wasting all my sick days so GO AWAY.

In Misery, Whining and Loathing,


This does not make me happy….at all

Boo Grrr Hiss

As a Christian I am horribly offended by this sort of Bigotry. I can’t believe people with brains in their heads still perpetuate this sort of ignorance. Me thinks there is a pastor in North Carolina that doesn’t have the sense God gave a Billy Goat.


To burn the Holy Bible and books written by people who spent their lives trying to spread the Mission of Christ and God’s love just because it isn’t the style you like is shallow and to feed this sort of hate monger is the work of the devil.


I realize there are those people in certain areas who still believe King James Only is the way to Heaven and while I am not opposed to the King James Bible I do have a history lesson for Pastor Marc Gizzard and others who blindly follow this narrow minded opinion.


Knowledge cures Ignorance…I can’t do anything about stupid though.


This version was commission in 1604 by King James mostly as a political move as his personal life in no way reflected he actually read or believed anything in scripture. Whilst history indicated he was an intelligent individual he did have a rather ferocious sexual appetite with a preferences for gender variety. Most commonly those of his own gender. His goal in commissioning the Bible was unity for Scotland , England and Ireland and also to appease the Puritans. P.S. It was NOT the first English translation but the 3rd.


Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not opposed to the King James Version but I also do not agree that it is the only Bible that can show you the way to salvation. Nor is it the easiest translations to glean that information from. There are several translations that are very reliable and very readable. I know since we have them all….. There are different methods of translating works from one language to another (P.S. guess what they did to the Bible) such as a word for word translation where they attempt to translate each word exactly. Word for word translations can be hard to read as lots can get lost in translation. Other versions translation idioms, thoughts or sentence structure to try and preserve the true meaning and make the best out of situations that are cultural references.


My point is (I promise I have one) is that to call all other version “the work of Satan” is harmful and wrong. Especially when other versions are actually more actuate to the original text. Also, what is with burning the books of noted Christian authors and accusing their life’s work to be of Satan also?


As Christian’s we have been changed with spreading the Gospel of God’s love and Christ’s sacrifice with a world that doesn’t always want to hear it. What they do enjoy hearing about is religious lunatics so while this pastor might think he is doing good he is in reality making it harder for those of us who want people to know the True and Loving God who promises Salvation and Acceptance.

I know that as a teacher he will have to answer for the false gospel he is spreading so I will pray for him….and try to stop calling him names 

Now back to your regularly scheduled “Random Craft Blog”