AKA the means by which God can humble you…
Fact: I am an outspoken woman with strong opinions.
Truth: The branch that does not bend in the wind will break.
While I spent all that time praying for a child I used the waiting period to research what type of parents we would be. To define our parenting style. Michael was very much on board although a few of my ideas confused him. But he did take the time to think them over and we worked out a game plan.
Along came baby. And the realization that our game plan may need a bit of tweaking. This was hard for me. Heart-breakingly hard. I was so completely sold on the idea of attached/natural parenting that I didn’t really even consider anything that wouldn’t fit into that style.
And after my unwanted/unplanned C-section (seriously I wanted to homebirth) my milk didn’t come in….a battle I fought for 6 weeks. Can you imagine taking every known herbal supplement, a prescription pill, drinking a gallon of water, and eating a metric ton of oatmeal while pumping every 2-3 hour AND caring for a newborn? I wouldn’t wish that hell on anyone…but it took me 6 weeks to give up the fight. I traded the pump for prozac since at that point in the journey I needed the prozac more.
After I gave up that fight and stopped sobbing 80 times a day I was able to relax and enjoy motherhood more. I loved toting my little snuggly babe around in a sling or carrier. I loved having her near to me and smelling her baby freshness…except she didn’t love it as much. And by about 4-5 months she was mobile and would rather roll all over the floor than be carried. How can this be? She was supposed to spend her days in the sling learning confidence and nurturing and all those lovely attached parenting principles. Nope, this baby crawled at 5 months which was before she could even sit up on her own.
There have been other adjustments along the way but thankfully I have learned that while parenting it is possible you will have to eat a few words…or a lot. Which can be very humbling.
I am learning to be more flexible which is something I strongly suspected I needed to learn.
And the good news is that despite all my best laid intentions going down hill. We still have an amazing child who is smart, strong and well-adjusted.
And isn’t that the goal anyways?