And she is freaking me out….
Let me explain
I have a group of friends I met at work. We started a book club in the hopes of stimulating our brains and making friends. It worked! The book club evolved in to our Tuesday night sewing adventures. We haven’t invited any new people into our book club but we are pretty open to having newbies to sewing night. To be honest I love to share my passion for creating with other people. We have a great time and are productive. We all look forward to sewing night each week…except for Barb who will ditch us if something better comes along (and sometimes even if something less fun comes along but we still love her)
Some new additions to sewing night work out very well. I think I speak for the collective group when I say that it would be hard to remember sewing night with out Emily or envision it being the fun it is with out her. However some new additions do not work out well at all….we will call her “Abby” (Name changed to protect the identity of the real person and protect me from libel lawsuits)
“Abby” heard Babs and I discussing sewing at work one day and emailed me some sewing questions she had. Why she didn’t just asked them since she sat right next to me seemed odd to me but that will come into play later. I answered her questions and we continued to email back and forth about sewing. She expressed an interest and I invited her over to sewing night. She said she needed help picking out fabric for a project so I invited her along to our Ihop/fabric hopping trip scheduled for after work. She got off before we did so I sent her over to Herrshner’s and told her to ask for Emily (I am so lucky one of my best friend’s works at the local fabric shop!)
We had a nice evening and she seemed to fit in well. Perhaps she was a little over eager but no judgment from me since I am the queen of over eager/over enthusiastic. We ate yummy junk food (you must have the stuffed French toast) and yapped for a couple hours. As I recalled Barb said V@gina really loudly and we felt Christin up (don’t ask, we are strange birds) I recalled thinking it I was glad it was going well since I was worried it would be really awkward with “Abby”. The reason for my concern was because for all the time we had worked together in a small office she had never spoken to me. I had to pass her desk on the way to mine each day and I would smile at her and it was never returned. I thought she was mean but I then figured maybe she was shy. Ok, I really though she was a w!tch….but let it go.
“Abby” started coming to sewing night and continued to be very enthusiastic, coming up with group projects and things we should do. Now, we are a super laid back group of girls and the group projects didn’t go over very well since we all wanted to work on our own projects. She didn’t take this very well. Also “Abby” still didn’t really interact with us as a group or talk to us at work. She would email us individually on occasion but that was it. It made her very difficult to get to know and made us a bit uncomfortable. Then came the Emily issue….yes, it is ALWAYS Emily’s fault. Just kidding. “Abby” was in the process of converting to a certain religion the Emily feels quite strongly against (actually Michael does also). We are used to a very open environment as none of us are easily offended and we discuss such a wide variety of topic. Apparently Emily’s comments we excruciatingly offensive to “Abby”. Now when someone offends me at sewing night I either argue/debate/share my opinion with them or kick them out (just kidding) and I feel comfortable doing that since these are my friends and I have come to realize that I can not bend them to my will as we are all unique individuals with free will. But that is just me…. “Abby” decided to text message her displeasure to all of us individually (except of course Emily). I don’t know what she expected me to do, I mean this isn’t 7th grade nor am I Emily’s mama….Anyway, I think that left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. Why wouldn’t she just tell Emily to knock it off (which wouldn’t have actually worked but she didn’t know that). I told her to address it with Emily as I had no intention of censoring a friend in my own home. After that the only one she would really communicate with was Christin.
Then she decided she does not feel welcome at sewing night and she is not going to come anymore. That is her choice as I have no intention of begging her to stay but if she wants to she is welcome to. Christin explained very diplomatically that sometimes it takes awhile to form a deep connection with people and we are still getting to know her which is why it is awkward since it is hard to “read” her at times. She became very offended at that revelation. Now keep in mind that she has formed relationships with other people in our department and consequently “broken” up with them over various differences. A phenomenon I must confess is not ideal in a small glass enclosed office. Anyways she has broken up with us. She has some things she left at my house which she said she will come and get however she made it apparent she intends to do that when the whole gang is there and I pray that is not so she can confront us on our wicked ways. I respect her decision to now want to play on our playground. What I have trouble accepting is her passive aggressiveness and dare I say childishness. Example, She emailed Christin asking for the phone # of someone else in our department because she was suppose to go hang out with them…..after she said she wasn’t going to be our friend. Who does that?
I wish her the best and I hope she finds happiness.